~~Neon shines through smoky eyes tonight
It’s 2 am - I’m drunk again it’s heavy on my mind~~
Bullshit! It's 4:15 am as I am writing. And the problem I carry in my heart at the moment is of a simple nature - that's right - chicks! High Five!
I heard today I am not able to commit. And yes, it was a chick who told me this. And that's the bullshit No 2. Because I am all about the commitment. If you disagree - prove me wrong. And maybe I have issues - and who doesn't. Let's go back in time so we can find the source of my worries...
Couple of days ago I was in a hospital. Don't panic!!! I was ok, unless until then... Because the ship I will be board on will go to The Third World countries like Burkina Fasso, I had to get some shots for malaria and stuff. So while I waited in line, like for hours I sat down, across this awesome looking girl in her mid 20s. You know, sweet face, blond hair, long legs, and big, Huuugeee ... lips. And a line to see a doctor in Poland is a totally different world. It's always packed, people are arguing with eachother who should go first, who is in more need to see the doctor and who has been waiting to see the doctor longer. So as soon as some guys wanted to proof to eachother who has more right to see the doc and almost started fighting, we ( meaning me and the girl) got into talking. First how stupid people get, how men need to compare the size of their testicals every single time there are women watching ( it's a metaphore and I've never done that). Then we talked about something else...music, movies, our dreams...it was nice, it felt like a first date. And it was a shared feeling. So we planned on going out some time soon. She gave me her number, I gave her mine, she got called to the doctors office and then she stood up, moving her bag from her lap that covered her belly... she was pregnant, like seven months pregnant (or she had some bad mexican - watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtmjhH0EzZA )...I didn't call her, and yes, I am all about the commitment, but to my own kids. I know, it's hard...
So my morale kicks me in the nuts for not calling her, and I don't know what to do...
...or maybe my problems have different source...
Let's get back in time a little bit further...
The last time I wore a suit... 1st of August 2009... was that my mental funeral and the couse of all the unfortunate? I don't think so...
Because I would like to commit to the girl I see, but I have a huge problem since...
That's right...since that dumb-bitch-redhead-whore cheated on me with this wino-bum. Yeah, I guess that U-turn for me. I have trust issues. As soon, as there is the slightest possibility of myself getting hurt, I hurt, and leave. I think that's why I want to be a sailor so much. I won't get burned so much.
I miss you all guys. Even know, when I listen to Dave singing, I hear your voices singing along, screaming in my head. And I feel like in the old good times. Happy Days.
So I will try to put myself back together and commit to somebody I wish to love someday...
...or I will suit up again!!!
What-up!!!
I heard today I am not able to commit. And yes, it was a chick who told me this. And that's the bullshit No 2. Because I am all about the commitment. If you disagree - prove me wrong. And maybe I have issues - and who doesn't. Let's go back in time so we can find the source of my worries...
Couple of days ago I was in a hospital. Don't panic!!! I was ok, unless until then... Because the ship I will be board on will go to The Third World countries like Burkina Fasso, I had to get some shots for malaria and stuff. So while I waited in line, like for hours I sat down, across this awesome looking girl in her mid 20s. You know, sweet face, blond hair, long legs, and big, Huuugeee ... lips. And a line to see a doctor in Poland is a totally different world. It's always packed, people are arguing with eachother who should go first, who is in more need to see the doctor and who has been waiting to see the doctor longer. So as soon as some guys wanted to proof to eachother who has more right to see the doc and almost started fighting, we ( meaning me and the girl) got into talking. First how stupid people get, how men need to compare the size of their testicals every single time there are women watching ( it's a metaphore and I've never done that). Then we talked about something else...music, movies, our dreams...it was nice, it felt like a first date. And it was a shared feeling. So we planned on going out some time soon. She gave me her number, I gave her mine, she got called to the doctors office and then she stood up, moving her bag from her lap that covered her belly... she was pregnant, like seven months pregnant (or she had some bad mexican - watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtmjhH0EzZA )...I didn't call her, and yes, I am all about the commitment, but to my own kids. I know, it's hard...
So my morale kicks me in the nuts for not calling her, and I don't know what to do...
...or maybe my problems have different source...
Let's get back in time a little bit further...
The last time I wore a suit... 1st of August 2009... was that my mental funeral and the couse of all the unfortunate? I don't think so...
Because I would like to commit to the girl I see, but I have a huge problem since...
That's right...since that dumb-bitch-redhead-whore cheated on me with this wino-bum. Yeah, I guess that U-turn for me. I have trust issues. As soon, as there is the slightest possibility of myself getting hurt, I hurt, and leave. I think that's why I want to be a sailor so much. I won't get burned so much.
I miss you all guys. Even know, when I listen to Dave singing, I hear your voices singing along, screaming in my head. And I feel like in the old good times. Happy Days.
So I will try to put myself back together and commit to somebody I wish to love someday...
...or I will suit up again!!!
What-up!!!
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